Crazy Feminist

I'm curious to see if anyone else has had issues or difficulties when talking to someone and identifying themselves as a feminist. My family, my friends, and even my boyfriend often ask me how school is going and what I'm currently working on at my internship at Planned Parenthood in Buffalo. They're right with me when it comes to the sex ed stuff that I do, but always seem confused when I talk about my feminist views and get into gender stereotypes and the widespread hardships of women.

My mom and most of my female friends understand some of it, they're just not as active or vocal about it as I am. My dad, male friends and family members, and especially my boyfriend, however, just don't seem to get it! For anyone else in this situation, I was wondering what you say or how you handle this. When describing feminism and my personal views and goals, the main points I address are: Women's Studies developed because things were (and still are) unequal between men and women. It's not about women trying to exceed men, it's just about equality; Women and girls should have equal access to power and resources as men and should not be stigmatized or refused certain rights simply because of gender; I also often explain how images in the media can lead to many problems including low self-esteem, eating disorders, and even violence against women and how we, as a society, need to address these issues and raise strong girls and sensitive boys.

I guess when I start talking about gender is when people get really confused. My guy friends claim that I try to "blur the lines between men and women." What does that even mean?! I explain to them that, even though there are definitely biological differences that do set us apart, I feel as though many people focus on the differences between men and women and often don't notice the similarities. I also try to point out how people are obsessed with gender and really let it determine how they treat others. For example, if you're having a little girl you will most likely paint the room pink or some other "girly" color and people will buy you what they determine as "feminine" clothes. Most people would not paint the room pink if they were having a boy. But really, what's the big deal? It's just a color! I think people are so obsessed with sexual orientation and making sure their sons aren't gay that they confuse that with gender and assume anything "girly" will make their son less of a man. I challenge this idea with many people and they do not seem to like it. I also point out how the toy aisles are set up at stores. Girls- pink, purple, art sets, kitchen sets, dolls. Boys- blue, green, red, army men, guns, balls, tool sets. Why can't all the kids toys just be in one section together? That way if a girl wants a football or a boy wants an art set, it's not that big of a deal.

I also have to hold my tongue with a lot of my friends getting married who go completely traditional and don't see how it can seem very suppressing of women. Don't get me wrong- I love weddings and people should plan their special day however they want it to be. That's their business, not mine. I was a bridesmaid once last year, once this past May, and will be again twice next year! I am very happy for my friends and family members who are starting this new chapter in their lives. But they are driving me crazy lately with the "he got my dad's permission first before he proposed" and "I can't wait to take his last name!" I just wish they saw it how I did- Like they are being treated like a piece of property. Not that the men in their lives literally treat them that way, but that the institution of marriage and those traditional things that go along with weddings are very male chauvinistic in origin.

Oh well, I guess I can only do so much. I don't expect to change everyone's minds or have them see it from my point of view. I just wasn't sure if anyone felt the same or experience the same reactions. Us crazy feminists, right?!

^^ I love this ad for no gendered clothing. Wish we saw more of this!!  :)