Many of us, I think, were blown away by Jean Kilbourne, not only by her deep social understanding but also her polished diction, and effective speech. The woman did not stumble, did not apologize, did not falter, and did not need to resort to desperate tactics of argumentative speech to make a compelling presentation.
Part of her likability was linked to her treatment of the issues, which was fair and patient. We are all fairly aware of the dangers of subliminal messaging, and I was expecting nothing new, thinking I had heard it before. So she had her work cut out for her, expanding more on a subject many are familiar with already. Kilbourne's ideas were fresh, though, and carefully articulated. My favorite part was when she was speaking about the fairly new practice of objectifying
men in advertising. "Certainly," she said "I do not want to see this happen to any person, man or woman." She pointed out that (and she is careful to say that it is not exactly a direct result, but an indirect one) the objectification of women is a catalyst for the social culture that demeans, silences, degrades, and abuses women.
So is the objectification of men going to have the same result? I suspect not, but stereotypes about men, or men as sexual objects, I personally believe can be just as devastating, on the level of the individual and also in a broader context.
When a woman is treated like an object, when she is reduced to her body parts, when her "silly" feelings and desire for respect are trivialized, it is heartbreaking, but that woman is allowed to defend herself. It is socially acceptable for a woman to to speak out against her abusers, and to say to those who degrade her: "You have hurt me. You have hurt my feelings, my heart, my soul. You have affected me, and my mental state." At least nowadays, I think, it is fairly safe for American women to do this in many situations.
However, when this happens to a man, the same reaction is not socially acceptable. Today, there is a belief among women that men see any sex as acceptable sex. This is perpetrated by the media, by movies, even literature. They believe that men do not naturally make connections between the physical act of sex and feelings of commitment, or love. The long history of women being emotionally vulnerable and easily hurt from men that treat sex as casually as a handshake, has left many women confused, anxious, tortured, and eventually, numb. These women go on to assume that every man is this way, and that it is simply the way of all men to treat love as a game, an act of conquest. They go on to do the same thing to men, loving and leaving them, in so many words. The problem is that men do have feelings-- men can fall in love, and when they do, and they realize that many girls have been hurt to much before by cruel males to trust another one or are too wary to agree to any commitment, they lose hope. They give up on women, just as women give up on men.
And when a guy loves a girl, and the girl turns to him and says "What are you talking about? I thought it meant nothing to you? I thought it meant nothing to all guys," that man is not allowed to protest, or demand sensitivity on her part. That man risks his masculinity and the respect of his male friends if he expresses a need for love and respect. I think that it is very sad, many men probably go their whole lives without ever meeting someone that respected them or their bodies, because girls by the age of fourteen are taught to believe that men cannot love like women.
In health class, girls are taught to protect themselves and boys are taught that girls resist and not to pressure them. They are already being pressured to assume the role of the passive, yielding, protective female and the invading, penetrating, territorial male.
I do not mean to shift our discussion of women to a discussion about men so fast, but after the convocation, all these things came to mind, and I wondered if anyone else sees it this way. I could be wrong.